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Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Ted Rice Story, Part 1,

Ted Rice was a well-known psychic who became an alien abductee, which eventually so horrified and stressed him that he had a nervous breakdown. After his recovery, he was still trigger happy. This hilarious scene was the only funny part of the book about his life. In my next blog, I'll share the not-so-funny part. For the source for this blog and the next, check out Karla Turner's Masquerade of Angels, but understand that it's a very spooky book. Here is a link to download,

In desperation, he began to surround himself with
religious objects every night before retiring. He covered the
bed with a total of eleven Bibles, he slept clutching a large
wooden cross for protection, and he kept a small night light
turned on in the corner of the room. Ensconced in the middle
of all this paraphernalia, Ted fervently prayed himself to
sleep, but it was a fitful sleep.

One particular night, when Larry had turned up the heat
in the trailer, Ted was so sweaty that he stripped the heavy
covers from his bed and went to sleep with only a sheet over
his body. The eleven Bibles were spread all around, the
wooden cross was firmly in hand, and overhead the ceiling
fan stirred a breeze to cool him even more.

He had finally drifted off to sleep, so he was not aware
when his cat, Grandma, came silently into the room looking
for a spot on the bed where she could curl up for the night.
Grandma had always slept with Ted, but since his return
from Barbara’s the cat had temporarily abandoned her usual
space beside him at night.

She must have decided to overlook his weird behavior
that night, because she was back. The cat looked around at all
the books on the bed, and unable to see a clearing, Grandma
leaped over the mess and landed right on top of Ted.
“Aaaahhh!” he screamed in panic, certain that the aliens
were back to get him. He flailed up from the bed, scattering
Bibles in every direction and brandishing the wooden cross
as if it were a sword.

The sheet flew up and caught on the rotating fan blades,
circling like a spinning ghost above him, and Grandma dived
for cover. In the dark, Ted had no idea what was moving
around him, but he beat defensively at the unknown invader,
slapping the cross down again and again, rebuking in all
directions, as the creature dived here and there trying to
escape the attack.

“Aaaahhh!” he screamed again, and the cat squalled out
in pain as the sheet swept back and forth across Ted’s bobbing
head. The great commotion woke up Larry, who came hurrying
down the hall toward Ted’s bedroom. He barged through the
open door, and when he saw the ghostly sheet swirling
around in the dimly lit room, Larry screamed out, “Haints!

Pandemonium reigned, with Larry shouting, Ted screaming,
and Grandma squalling, all at the top of their lungs.
Somebody finally managed to turn on the light, and at last
Ted could see just what had invaded his sanctuary. Grandma
saw her moment to escape and tore off down the hallway,
with Larry in hot pursuit. Ted hurried after them, still clutching
the cross, but it was quite a while before they could catch
the frightened cat and make sure she was not harmed.
Things calmed down at last, and Ted had a good laugh at
himself and his paranoia. He and Larry cleaned up the mess
in the bedroom and tried to get back to sleep for the rest of
the night.

“My mama always said that white people were strange,”
Larry shook his head, walking back to his room. “She doesn’t
know the half of it.”

My UFO studies have caused me to greatly appreciate two passages in Psalm 3. Verse 3 reads, "But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the lifter of my head." Verse 5 says, "I lie down and sleep; I awake again for the Lord sustains me." Psalm 4 also connects safety and sound sleep. God keeps me safe. And even when I am not safe, I am in His hands. He can turn all things to a good purpose and make my life meaningful.