C-Sections Aren't So Bad
At least mine weren't. And I was 40 and 43. My faith sustained me.
A little backstory first. I married at 39. Being a devout Christian, I felt I had a promise of marriage and kids, so when I met my lovely geologist husband at the Division of Mines and Geology in San Francisco, I didn’t hesitate to, you know, do what you do to make babies. I got married in a $70 creamy off-white dress that you could wear to dinner, which looked great on my size 10 body. However, 2 months later, it was clear I wouldn’t be wearing it for a while.
So I put on the pounds right away. By the ninth month, when a woman sees her gynecologist once a week, I was huge and extremely uncomfortable. I could hardly turn over in bed, which is about when some women grab their doctors’ coat collars and shout, “Get this thing out of me!”
“I’m so biiiig,” I wailed to my doctor.
“No, not really,” he would always reply. “You’re fine.”
“What’s happening down here, that’s going back and forth?”
“That’s the head.”
“The head? Really? What’s this big round thing up here by my ribs?”
“That’s the feet.
One Sunday, about a week and a half before due date, I met my pastor as the service ended. “Wow, Sister, you look like you should be delivering that thing soon.”
“Will you say a prayer for me that I will be doing that soon?” He prayed for me right there on the church steps.
My doctor happily was on vacation for my third weekly visit. The substitute took one look at me and said, “Wow, you’re really big.”
“Thank you!” I exclaimed.
He immediately ordered a sonogram and discovered that Ms. Wiggles was huge, had a big head, and was breach. My gynecologist had convinced me that the baby was a girl, so I had a girl’s name prepared, but my friend was there for the sonogram. At one point, she gasped and put her hand to her mouth. A C-section was scheduled for the next day. And of course, my mom and my friends were there to pray and welcome Mr. Wiggles into the world. With a few adjustments, that girl’s name morphed into a boy’s.
Not only was Christopher a large baby, 10 lbs, 4 oz a week early and breach, but the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times. There was so much water that the reservoirs overflowed and the surgeon hollered “Man the pumps!”
The other glitch was that I just couldn’t produce enough milk for this little beast. He caused such a fuss that the nurses finally had to let me bottle feed him. He’s not a big man today, but lying in his bassinet in the viewing room caused one viewer to comment, “That kid is ready for a hamburger.”
Chris turned out to be a mellow, bright kid and adult. I don’t even want to think about what I would have gone through if I had waited another week and tried natural birth.
The months flew by and at some point I had a box of used baby clothes. Should I donate it or wait for number 2? One night I had a dream about finding an infant in my lap. “What is this? Are you the little who hasn’t been conceived yet? If you are, I just want you to know how much we’re looking forward to your coming and staying with us.” I lifted the little bundle to my shoulder. It wore a white gown, and unlike Chris, who was almost bald at birth, it had a head full of dark hair. It could just barely lift its head and look around.
After that, I did give away the box of baby clothes. After all, maybe I just had a pizza dream—you know, one of those gastronomical eruptions that fog the brain at night. As it turned out, it wasn’t a pizza dream. Ben came along soon after, happily in time to be delivered before I was 44. He also was huge. One geologist colleague at work informed me that older cows have large calves. “You’re comparing me to an old cow??”
“It is what it is.”
New address, new infant, new gynecologist. The decision was made to not let things get out of hand, so Ben came 3 weeks early and was still 9 lbs, 11 oz. Care was taken to test his lungs to make sure he was ready to meet his destiny in the world. During the operation, the 3 doctors were entertaining themselves with off color stories and remarks. I asked them if they would like to hear my testimony of how I accepted Christ and how He changed my life. Muffled hmms and umms were their response, but when the infant came out, I asked if he had a full head of black hair. When the response was positive, I told them about my dream.
Ben also grew up to be bright, wise, and kind. In both cases, I had a waiting room full of well-wishers. I recovered as well as could be expected for an old lady past her prime. So I’m a fan of C-sections, but I’m also a fan of putting one’s hand in the Hand of the Master. Psalm 139:1-16, NKJV:
O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
By the way, I never got to wear that creamy off-white dress again.
This story can also be seen at https://medium.com/@janetkatherineapplebysmith/c-sections-arent-so-bad-e7f0163dc61f and at https://theologylighthouse.substack.com/p/c-sections-arent-so-bad.
Check out my website: www.janetksmithpersonal.com. You can read my memoir for free, The Legacy: A Memoir of Personal Guidance and Korean War Sabotage.
Dear Janet, I am on Medium as Laurna Tallman. I have read a couple of your blog pieces and Legacy. I couldn't get enough of it! The unconventional mixture of spiritual journey and nitty gritty real life was deeply appealing to me, no matter what your editor said. I was too deeply involved in my career and churches to think about marriage for a long time, although I longed for it. I fell deeply in love with a man I thought I would marry who developed a very rare disease and died of it surprisingly quickly. When I met the man God had chosen for me, he was reeling from a tragedy. His almost ex had just murdered the woman he planned to marry. I understood then the strange and complex vision I had received shortly after my other friend had died. The minute details in that vision applied to him and the circumstances of our meeting to an astonishing degree. I was raised in a variety of churches (my family was moving often) and came into the baptism in the Holy Spirit when I was 26. For eight years while my career was in motion, my greater focus was on learning to walk in the Spirit. married when I was 34 and had our first boy a year later and four more pregnancies (one miscarriage) until our last boy when I was 43. EAch of our children has had big mountains to climb -- and still do in their 40s and 50s. My father had been one of the designers of the first atomic energy plant in Canada. My mother was a teacher and accomplished musician with a deep interest in psychology and spiritual abilities she hardly knew what to do with. Visions and prophecies became an important part of my walk with Jesus. God also led me through a zig-zag academic life as a student. There were so many things about my life that were far from what I had expected, yet, as the years and the big challenges unfolded, I was being led towards indescribably important learning. What I learned ultimately was so simple that it is almost impossible to persuade people to consider it: all forms of consciousness, including the so-called "mental" illnesses are measures of how much sound is reaching the brain. Usually, the illnesses are the result of a weakness in the smallest muscle in the body, the stapedius muscle attached to the third bone of hearing, especially the one in the right ear. If the parts of the ear are intact, the problem usually can be corrected with high-frequency music (think violins) focused on the right ear with headphones (the left channel blocked) for 1 to 2 hours per day. If the condition is relatively mild, a couple or three weeks of music exercise will strengthen the muscle so that the music therapy is not needed unless the ear is damaged by some kind of assault. Older people with weaker muscles and people with severe illness that causes psychosis may need to use the therapy longer, or even daily and lifelong. Your writing reveals you as a candidate for Focused Listening. You can read more about it on my website(s) and there's an inexpensive Google App, if you're interested. And you can also email me at laurnatallman@gmail.com if you want more information. But that's not primarily why I'm writing. Your story resonated in so many ways with my journey that I want to thank you for all the trouble you took to write about your amazing life. I am blessed by your dogged faithfulness, by your dreams and visions, by God's faithfulness to you. My sweet husband Dick died September 3. We had 50 incredibly difficult and love-filled years together. I am trying to find time now to post more of my spiritual stories on Medium. And more stories about the people who have used Focused Listening to help or heal their ear-related illnesses. You ask some questions about why your dreams come just as you are awakening and I can explain those sorts of things in terms of your ear and brain anatomy if you want to learn about it. You might want to look at the article on Medium about the Gross Anatomy of Behavior. --- Laurna
ReplyDeleteLaura, thank you for your response. I'm not sure why I didn't see this comment and another on a different post until today. I'm very glad to hear that my writings mean something to other people. I don't hear it much. It's a blessing. So glad you found the love of your life in Dick. Sorry that he passed. At 81 I know my time with Ted is limited, but I look forward to being reunited with so many that have gone before.
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